Start talking about the move early

Children notice change long before the boxes appear. If you whisper about viewings or wait until the week of the move to explain what's happening, little ones often fill the gaps with worry. So give them a simple, honest version of events as soon as the move is confirmed: "We're going to live in a new house in a few weeks. Your bedroom will be smaller, but there's a garden with a slide." Concrete details beat grand promises every time.

A calendar works wonders for children aged three and up. Mark the day you move and let them put a sticker on each day as it passes, so time feels manageable rather than endless. If they're at nursery or school, mention the move to their key person or teacher. A familiar adult who already knows the news can head off anxious questions, and children often say things to a teacher they'd never say at home.

Give them jobs they can actually do

Toddlers and school-age children want to feel useful, and a task is a brilliant antidote to anxiety. The trick is choosing jobs they can genuinely manage, then praising the effort rather than the result.

• Under-fives: popping soft toys into a pillowcase, drawing a picture to tape onto a box, choosing which three books go in the car bag.
• Five to eight: labelling boxes with a coloured sticker for their own room, wrapping cushions in bubble wrap, checking the cupboard under their bed for stray toys.
• Older children: drawing a rough plan of their new bedroom, deciding where the bed and desk will go, writing a list of what they want to unpack first.

Keep sentimental or fragile items well out of reach, and don't ask a child to pack anything you'd be upset to lose. It's also worth setting up a clear "not for the van" pile together — the school bags, the buggy, the snacks — so they can see exactly what travels with you rather than behind you.

Keep routines steady, even when everything else isn't

The house may be chaos, but bedtime can still look the same: bath, milk, two stories, lights out in the same order. Routine is the thing that tells a small child the world is still turning. If you can, keep them at nursery or school as normal right up to the move, and avoid switching their daytime naps or meal times just because yours have gone out of the window.

For the day itself, arrange cover if you possibly can. A grandparent, a trusted friend or a childminder who takes them to the park for the morning is worth their weight in gold while the van is loaded. If that isn't an option, pack a night bag for each child the evening before, containing exactly what they need for a normal night: pyjamas, toothbrush, the specific cup they'll accept, and that bedtime book you've read four hundred times.

Build a comfort kit for moving day

Every child should have one small bag they carry themselves. It doesn't need to be big, just theirs. Into it goes a favourite teddy, a blanket, a dummy if they still use one, a torch, a couple of books, a water bottle, snacks, wipes, a spare set of clothes, and one small new toy or sticker book kept as a surprise for the moment things get boring. Keep these bags in the car with you — never in the back of the van, however tempting the extra space looks.

On the day, keep them fed and watered before they get hungry enough to melt down, and accept that screens might do more work than usual. A tablet charged the night before is a perfectly reasonable moving-day tool.

Plan moving day around their needs

• Book the removal for early morning if you can, so the heaviest work is done before nap time and the novelty wears off.
• Keep children clear of the ramp, tail lift and stacked boxes, and put tape dispensers, scissors and craft knives well out of reach.
• Make the beds first at the new house, even if nothing else is unpacked, and get a night light plugged in before dark.
• Plan an easy tea — a takeaway, beans on toast, anything that doesn't need a saucepan you can't find.

Settling in during the first weeks

Unpack their bedroom before the rest of the house if you possibly can. Familiar bedding, familiar toys on familiar shelves — it anchors everything else. Then get out and about: find the nearest park, walk the school route, say hello to the neighbours. Knowing where the swings are makes a new postcode feel far less strange.

Expect a wobble. Clinginess, regressions, disturbed sleep and sudden tears are all normal for a few weeks after a move, even for children who seemed fine on the day. Keep bedtime steady, talk about the old house if they want to, and reassure them that the people they love are coming with them. That last part, said often and calmly, does more than any well-labelled box ever will.